This is extraordinarily long, only read it if you have time. Not looking for advice – I just want to vent!?

wow, my head is spinning :-) Seriously I think your hearts are definitely in the right places, but I also think you are enabling the family members by letting them use your houses as a hotel to check in and out of as they please. As for your mother in laws failing health, would it be better if she was in an isted living facility where she had independence but also nurses nearby to help if an emergency occurred? My mother went thru that w/ my grandma, and was always at their house doing things for them and taking care of her, and it really took it's toll, so just be careful. Good luck and don't let anymore of them in